Sunday, January 10, 2010

I Am Surrounded!!!

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.
Camille Pissarro
The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.
Mother Teresa
Blessed Mother Theresa, God rest her soul. Kind, loving, giving without end, devoted to Christ and to humanity. Loved every single individual without prejudices or without judgment. Spent countless hours with strangers, but yet looked at them as family. She said, we are all family because we are all God’s children, he is father to us all. How humbled she must have been to service others with such compassion and love. She never stopped to question why, she just carried out her calling from God, to take care of all of God’s people, sick, suffering, impoverished and the dying. Questioning would have meant doubt in God’s plan. And she never doubted that plan, even through extreme situations where there was much suffering and loss of many lives.
I don’t always understand God but I trust him.I trust that he always has a plan for us. I believe that we are never alone. I said in a previous post that I believe that no one should die alone, I believe that he will not allow that. No matter who we are or what we have done, he will not allow that. You always have to have faith. Our faith does not die with us it lives on in the lives of those that we have touched along our journey. The kindness we have shown to others. The entire basis of human existence is love.
I feel very humbled to be given the opportunity to care for the individual that gave me life. There is a feeling of honor to brushing your mothers hair, stroking her hand, sitting in silence and praying over her frail body, putting a cool cloth to her head. Or just repeating I love you over and over, you are precious to me and I adore you and I always will. There is a humbling feeling to saying, OK this ones for you father. You have the wheel, I cannot do this without you. I know not what you have in store, but I am ready! I put my faith in you. Today I am at the stage where I have given God the control. I am only his servant. I will love and honor my mother always until death is upon us. I hope to be at her side but I have assured her that she is not alone and neither am I. That we will weather the storm TOGETHER. Always TOGETHER. Whether that only be in spirit that is enough.
It seems to be that today death lurks at my doorstep no matter where I turn. I feel as if “I am surrounded.” Maybe that is what my calling is. My darling son has a friend who I lovingly refer to as my 4th son. (3 biological) then there is my Ryan, my 4th honorary son. He calls me “mom'” and rightfully so I adore him as well. He is not really my son though. He was diagnosed with Cancer (oh that ugly, ugly word) less than 6 months ago. The cancer is in his brain now. The tumor is very invasive. He is currently taking Chemo and is showing signs that he is becoming more and more overcome by this ugly monster everyday. Each time I see him, I see a young healthy vibrant young man with all the promise that this world holds crushed by an awful disease. He smiles as if it doesn’t even exist. He acts as if it didn’t happen and I don’t think it has ever really occurred to him what the outcome may bring. He say’s I just don’t think about that and what may come. He will say when you talk to him about it, I really don’t think about it. “If I think about it I may just stop.” If I stop then where will I be. I always say have faith, never stop having faith.
I have watched this child deteriorate right before my eyes. Tonight the conversation was….The make a wish organization contacted him about his wish. He said I can go anywhere and do whatever I want. They said I can have whatever I want. As we all know to be eligible for Make A Wish there are certain guidelines and the most crushing is: To receive a wish, the child must be diagnosed with a life-threatening medical condition – i.e., a progressive, degenerative or malignant condition that has placed the child’s life in jeopardy. THE VERY SAD THING IS THAT THIS CHILD WILL MOST LIKELY NOT SEE HIS 18th BIRTHDAY!!! I look at my son and I feel such overwhelming feelings of thankfulness and appreciation. Although this child is like my son he is not. I cannot even begin to imagine his mothers heartache. I really don’t think at this point any organization would be able to grant my wish! Ryan is a very outgoing, sweet, respectful, kind and loving young man. I stood one night off from the two of them, watching them. In total amazement of what was becoming of our sweet young man. One day perfect and the next broken. It is a very eye opening and humbling thought to a mother. He is always in my prayers. I have pictures of my sons….would you mind if I brag a little, since I had a little to do with his raising too. The silly little eye closer is my Mat, he always does it to me! I will post his earlier pictures later. The difference is astounding! Our Ryan is on the left. He refuses to take that LIP THING OUT…..Beautiful, beautiful boys!  Here they are:
I want them always to remember their bond, their closeness and their love for one another and to always hold on to that and never, ever let it go. They did a study amongst people who have lived to be well over a hundred. What they found was that one of the things that these people had in common was they all had close and endearing relationships with at least 2 other non-family individuals, i.e; a close and beloved friend. It all comes down to love again and again. It can heal the world! It will heal our beloved Ryan!
Where there is great love there are always miracles! So see I am surrounded by death as well as I am surrounded by love. My mother and our sweet young Ryan to different ends of the spectrum yet such similar fights! I am blessed! I am blessed and honored to have these 2 very precious people in my life teaching me great things, no matter what God’s plan is for the future, today is all that really matters to me, because today is all we really have! It has been a good day! Everyday is a good day!
I find Mother Theresa’s talks very soothing and enlightening. Please take a moment to listen to this video. Don’t forget to pause the little player so it doesn’t interfere…….

If you are interested in knowing more about Mother Theresa here is a link….God Bless! Biography of Mother Theresa

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