Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just Enjoying Summer!

I love to watch my teens, enjoying just being little kids. This world is just so tough on them. Their peers push them to conform. You really hope they make all the right choices. Sometimes they do and a lot of times they don't. It's hard as a mom to watch them struggle between right and wrong. Its hard to watch them grow up and make mistakes that sometimes are not only difficult for them but for you as a mom as well. I frequently question their thoughts, but it's all part of the process of growing up. I wish there could be more happiness and less hardship but unfortunately that's all I can do is wish, they have to make their own way.

I have learned so much going down this road called life, one of the hardest lessons I've learned is listening. It pretty much applies to all, friends, family as well as your teens. It has probably taken me years and I'm not sure at times I still do such a great job but I do it. Teens don't always want you to talk they just want your ear. They will tell you when it requires more then, "I'm so sorry to hear that honey, is there anything I can do?"(Hardest words I've ever spoken) If there isn't they will be the first to let you know. I would guess this allows them to then work it out for themselves. I think the greatest injustice you can do for your children is be a "do it for them parent." You can jump right in and change the tide, then they do not get to experience what life is really all about, happiness and sorrows, ups and downs, learning and maturing. They never grow up and they never become responsible adults. Take a look around at our society. What are we teaching them? What is the difference in our generation and in theirs? The difference is we were told to work it out, decide what we were going to do about a situation. We were given reasonable suggestions but never solutions. We worked hard to save for things and really appreciated them. We were proud of what we had and treasured it. We were allowed to live with our mistakes, right or wrong. Crying was not something we were put in counseling for nor was feeling sad. I agree there is a degree of being sad that needs immediate attention, I am a nurse I had better understand, clinical depression is a very serious situation. But what are these teens so saddened by? They can't have a new cell phone. Well do they have a job?Because cell phones are expensive. I didn't have a cell phone until I was in my 30's (late 30's) When parents learn to just say no, they will take a lot of the sadness and weight from these children. Soon enough they will be adults, soon enough they will have jobs. Soon enough they will pay bills. I have paid my own bills in this life and they should have that opportunity as well. Luxuries are just that, luxuries! Sometimes we have them, sometimes we don't! They will appreciate what they pay for,  not what we pay for. Today's teens live like millionaires compared to the teens of yesterday. Seeing things that their parents had only dreamed they would see. When you dream about something and work hard for it, it becomes precious. Parents are willing to go under just to give their child the world, there by creating a society of debt. What makes our teens so sad and so depressed? They miss the one thing they need the most and it doesn't come from a shelf, its called parents. They miss mom and they miss dad. If they don't have that, they miss out on life and they miss out on love. That is what makes this life memorable, love. When it all comes down to it, 30 minutes of undivided attention is worth far more than an Ipod touch, more then a game system. It is priceless. They can't take a cellphone away from this world, but they will always remember how you loved them. My teens always recall stories about our times together and smile. They have never recalled a story about something that was bought, with a smile that goes from ear to ear. It's always, remember when we would cuddle and remember when, we went here or there, just the 2 of us?

I love my children, I cherish every second of everyday I have with them and every one I have left. If God allowed me just one wish, it would not be for money or for worldly possessions, it would be to have those happy moments to spend again with my children. Nothing fancy, just that simple wish. When they say "mothers rock your babies and let the housework go!" That's one of the greatest lessons mothers need to learn. Cobwebs and all, you cannot build a home and family on a foundation of anything else but unfailing love.

The day we took these pictures I remember thinking, oh my God he could break an arm or leg, he could slip and fall, he could, he could, he could. My heart said, just let him be a boy and you just be a mom. My son had the greatest time this day, just being a LITTLE BOY again  and my heart was so happy. Happy momma, happy babies!

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